Hakuna Frittata

You guys know what I love? I mean, besides wine… And puppies… And big tall boots… And when you buy stuff from a vending machine and it gives you an extra bag of Munchos? Snacks are delicious. Anyway, what I REALLY love is a good frittata. I mean , even the word itself is fun.

Frittata. Frittata. Frittata. Frittata. Frittata. Frittata.

 Ok, I’m done.

See, the reason I love frittatas is that you can take pretty much any leftover crap in your fridge and throw it in, and it’s probably gonna be delicious. I mean, not that moldy fruitcake you got last Christmas from Aunt Sally. By the way, you should throw that out, you filthy pig. You disgust me. But anyway, you know what I mean. Hell, I bet even a leftover pizza frittata would be delicious. I’d totally try that if I ever had pizza left over. Plus, frittatas are a super easy, yet sort of impressive-looking breakfast. All you do is toss some eggs in a bowl, and whip it. Whip it good.

 *Insert awkward dance with Devo hats here*

Ok, so you have to do more than that. But not much.

 I always use a cast iron pan, because it’s easy to fry up some greasy fatty bacon in there, dump in whatever else you’ve got, throw the eggs on top, bake that sucker for 20 or so, and BAM! Frittata in your face.

 So Sunday morning, I raided Mr. Ahi Tuna Man’s fridge, and here’s my what I came up with as my recipe/non-recipe for…

Hakuna Frittata

Prep time: Long enough to chop your bacon into tiny pieces and fry it to bacony perfection.

Cooking time: 20 minutes, give or take. Until it’s eggy floofy goodness.

Tools needed:

• Cast iron skillet (You don’t really NEED this. If you don’t have one, feel free to use one of those square glass pans or somethin’. Just make sure you grease that puppy a lot before you dump stuff in, otherwise you’ll have a stuck frittata mess.)
• Big-ass bowl
• Whisk

 Ingredients:

• 6 – 8 eggs (I used 7 because that’s what Mr. Ahi Tuna Man had left, and it would’ve been dumb to leave him with one stupid egg. He may have locked me in the closet and denied me food like he did last time I did something dumb like that. Don’t even get me started on what he does when I don’t put the toilet paper roll on the correct direction.)
• ¼ cup or so of milk
• Bacon! (I used about 6 slices of the good, thick-cut, extra fatty stuff, and chopped it up in little bits before I cooked it.)
• Kale! (Because there is seriously a neverending bag of kale in Mr. Ahi Tuna Man’s fridge, so I just put that shit in everything I make. We may have kale tacos soon.)
• Some sort of shredded or crumbled cheese (He had some leftover gorgonzola and mozzarella, so that’s what I threw in. But feel free to get crazy with your cheeses.)

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees.
2. In cast iron skillet, fry up your little bits o’ bacon to desired crispiness. I’m weird and prefer my bacon a little on the chewy side, but do whatever tickles your pickle. Or piques your pork. Haha! Anyhoo… Once your bacon is done how you want it, turn off your burner, and then go ahead and tear that kale in to teeny kale pieces and toss it in. Because that kale needs to be coated in bacon fat, killing any nutritional value, that’s what I think.
3. Let that cool down for a few minutes while you prep your eggs. Crack however many eggs you want into your big-ass bowl (It could just be a medium-ass bowl. It doesn’t matter.), dump a little milk in there, and whisk whisk whisk. Shaking your booty as you whisk is totally optional.
4. Now go back to your bacon/kale stuff, throw your cheese in there, and immediately pour the eggs on top. If anything is sticking up outta the eggs, just sort of press it down and stir it around until everything is egg-covered.
5. Throw that frittata in the oven for 20 or so until it gets all floofy in the middle (This is my new favorite made up word.) and the edges are sorta crispy-like.
6. Let it cool for a few, cut it into cute little pie-like slices, and get yo’ frittata on.