You Feta Eat All Your Veggies! (See what I did there? I kill me.)

So, after a couple months or so of hopping on and then falling off the healthy eating wagon, Mr. Ahi Tuna Man (Yes, he’s still around. I’m telling you, he keeps feeding me martinis and I just can’t bring myself to give him the boot10994930_10155173023155551_1943565638982608194_n. Plus, he’s sorta cute. Don’t tell him I said that.) and I decided to go full-on Sunday night healthy this week. Go us! Can I get a “WHAT WHAT!” for some whole grains and veggies?!?!?




Ok, ok, I’ll admit it’s not nearly as exciting and drool-inducing as stuff loaded with fatty sauces and cheese and bacon (Mmmm… bacon.), but this is actually really freakin’ tasty, if I do say so myself. I also didn’t even feel like a giant lard ass after eating it. That’ll come this weekend when I shove some poutine in my face. I’m all about being healthy, guys. Clearly. I wonder if I could do a quinoa and b10978631_10155173022440551_746204137923659992_nrown rice poutine? Hmm… Whole grains and cheese curds and gravy. Oh my. I’ll have to sleep on this.


Anyway, here’s something healthy for you guys! Something to make you feel good, for those days after you overeat short ribs and drink too many girly martinis. Not that I did that Saturday night. Nope. Not me. Gotta run.


You Feta Eat All Your Veggies! Bowl


Prep/Cooking time: This all depends how fancy you wanna get. I roasted my own red pepper and may have caused a small kitchen fire, so it took longer than normal. Start to finish for me, excluding fire extinguishing, was 30 minutes or so.


Stuff you need:

  • I used a pre-packaged brown rice/quinoa blend, but you could really use any healthy whole grain you want to- Quinoa, brown rice, couscous, whole wheat pasta, yada yada. You get the point. Just no Captain Crunch. That would not be tasty at all.
  • 1 tablespoon olive oil
  • 2 cups fresh mushrooms, sliced
  • 4 cups fresh baby spinach
  • 6 oz chicken breast, cooked and cubed (You can leave this out if you wanna go all hard core vegetarian-like. Weirdo.)
  • 1 roasted red pepper, chopped (I made my own by charring it on the stove and then peeling and chopping it, but you can get the jarred ones if you want. I’ll only look down upon you a little bit.)
  • ¼ cup jarred marinated artichoke hearts, drained and chopped
  • ¾ cup kalamata or black olives, whole (I recommend buying the pitted kind, because one time I chipped a tooth unsuspectingly biting into a kalamata pit at a Greek wedding and had to repair it with cake frosting. Shit got weird.)
  • 1 cup crumbled feta cheese
  • Minced garlic, sea salt, pepper, red pepper flakes to taste 

What to do:

  1. Cook whatever whole grain stuff you got according to package instructions, set aside.
  2. Dump the EVOO (Extra virgin olive oil. Sorry I went all Rachael Ray there. You can kick my ass if you want now.) into a giant  wok-like pan, or whatever big pan you have that’ll fit a crapload of fresh baby spinach.
  3. Toss in the sliced  mushrooms and sauté on medium-high heat, stirring ‘em around occasionally, until they start to brown a bit.
  4. Dump your spinach in the same pan and sauté, again stirring around occasionally, until it’s all cooked down and wilty. Reduce heat to low.
  5. Throw in the cooked and sliced chicken, roasted red pepper, chopped artichokes, kalamatas, and quinoa stuff; Cook, stirring frequently, just for about 2 or 3 minutes, just until hot, but not ‘scald your face off’ hot. Remove from heat.
  6. Throw in the crumbled feta, minced garlic, salt n’ pepa and stuff, and mix it all together until it’s way yummy.
  7. Spoon into bowls and go to Healthy Town.


I’m so technical, huh? I should really have my own Food Network show. This is some fancy ‘mix until it’s way yummy’ stuff happening right here.



It’s The Greek-in’ Weekend!!

See what I did there with the title? Get it?? I kill me.


Chunks o’ feta make me happy.

Anyway… Mr. Ahi Tuna Man and I decided this week that maybe we should try to do something a little healthy-ish for our bodies, what with all the pizza and cookie eating we’ve been doing, so I decided, “What the hell, let’s stuff some shit inside some chicken and see what happens.”. I also happen to LOVE anything Greek- Feta, spinach, kalamata olives (I also just love saying ‘kalamata’ because it’s fun. Kalamata. Kalamata.), so I thought to myself, “GREEK STUFFED CHICKEN!! OPA!!”. Then I did some sort of dance I think I saw in ‘My Big Fat Greek Wedding’ or something. I dunno. There was some clapping and stomping.


Help us! We need to be baked! We’re NAKED!!

I would also like to note that this recipe was supposed to include lemon, but SOMEONE (I won’t name names.) (It was Mr. Ahi Tuna Man.) forgot to buy a lemon. And I feel the lemon really would’ve added something here, so I included it in my recipe down there. I’m still trying to recover from the trauma of being lemonless. I need a moment.

Ok, I’m done.

I also whipped up a simple tomato sauce thing, just so my breasts wouldn’t be naked. My chicken breasts, I mean. I only put tomato sauce on my breasts on special occasions.

Here we go!


Prep time Fully dependent upon your chopping and breast stuffing expertise. I was a novice. I was stuffing those breasts for a good 12 minutes or so. Ok, some of that was just because it was fun.

Cooking time: 20 – 25 minutes, or until they won’t give you salmonella.


For the chicken:

  • 4 chicken breasts (big fat ones that you can cut a little pocket into)
  • baby spinach, chopped (I used about half a bag of the fresh stuff. You could probably use frozen, but frankly, I am not a fan of spinach you have to squish water from.)
  • 2 tablespoons capers
  • Kalamata olives, chopped (However many you want. Whatever tickles your pickle.)
  • 1/2 cup crumbled feta cheese
  • juice from 1 lemon (Don’t let anyone forget your Goddamn lemon!!)

For the sauce:

  • 2 cloves fresh garlic, minced
  • 1 tablespoon olive oil
  • 1 can crushed tomatoes (I could only find the giant-ass can of these, but I only used about half.)
  • Dry white wine to taste (I used $4 Chardonnay. Which is way better than Chardonnbee. Hahahaha! I’m sorry.)
  1. Preheat oven to 425 degrees.
  2. Mix together all the ingredients up there, except for the chicken of course (duh), in a bowl.
  3. Cut a little pocket in the side of the chicken breasts and shove that spinach feta stuff right up in there. Stuff it like you mean it. Awwww yeah. Just like that. Secure with toothpicks if you need to, so your breasts won’t leak while baking.
  4. Put ’em in a 9×13 pan, sprinkle with salt & pepper and whatever other various seasonings you wanna, and stick ’em in the oven for 20 – 25 minutes, or until they aren’t pink any more. You know how to cook chicken.
  5. While those are baking, prepare the sauce! Heat the olive oil in a skillet over medium heat, toss in the garlic, and cook until the garlic starts to smell yummy.
  6. Dump in your crushed tomatoes, stir those around a little, then add a little white wine, because cooking with booze is fun. Cook that over low – medium heat until it gets kinda bubbly and hot. (Side note: You could probably skip the wine part, but I think white wine gives stuff kind of a smoky delicious flavor. Just do it. Also, you will have leftover wine, and that’s always good. )
  7. Remove your chicken from the oven, let it rest a couple minutes (because Alton Brown says you’re supposed to do that), then slap it on a plate, spoon some sauce on it, and OPA!! Eat it like a Greek. I dunno. I just like saying OPA!!! Gotta go.