I Would Do Anything For Loaf… Especially If There’s Cheese

This was Meat Loaf’s lesser known hit about my Cheesy Turkey Meatloaf. Ok, maybe I just made that up. But it could’ve been if he’d ever tried it. Moving along now…

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Hi! I know it’s been a while since I’ve blogged. I just haven’t been in the mood to do much cooking lately, mostly because I’m training to run a 10 mile race in a couple weeks, therefore, I’m pretty hurty and angry a lot. I do not advise anyone to take up running. Seriously. I’m not kidding about this. Anyway… Yesterday was Mother’s Day! And although I’m not a Mom, I felt inspired to make some Mom-like comfort food in the form of my soon-to-be-famous-this-side-of-the-Mississippi-or-maybe-just-in-my-book-club Cheesy Turkey Meatloaf! It’s just like regular meatloaf, except way better, because it’s mine, so it just is. And there’s cheese involved. Don’t fight it. Just go with it.

Mmmm... Cheese.

Mmmm… Cheese.

A few notes here:

1. I use 93/7 ground turkey, because once you add all the melty delicious cheese, this sucker’s got plenty of fat. Trust me. But feel free to fatten it up with ground beef if it makes you happy. This is comfort food, not sad, skinny person food.

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2. Most people use bread crumbs in their meatloaf, but not this girl. Nope. I pound the shit out of pretzels and use those. Trust me. It sounds weird, but it gives it a little somethin’ somethin’. Again… Just go with it. I’m totally an expert here. I have a Girl Scout badge somewhere in a box, along with my Debbie Gibson cassettes.

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3. You may be tempted to just grab a bag of shredded cheese and toss it in as a shortcut. DON’T DO IT, LAZY!!! Sorry I yelled. But really, you need the chunks o’ cheese to create melty cheese pockets, and also, any straggler cubes that end up at the top of the meatloaf when you put it in the oven get all caramelized and delicious, and I don’t know about you guys, but I would strongly consider marrying caramelized cheese were it legal. It’s totally not weird. Also, feel free to use any type of hard cheese you’d like. I use Colby-Jack because I like my cheese like I like my men: Sharp and flavorful. And easy to pop into my mouth after chopping. Whoa. That sounded wrong. Onto the recipe!

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Paula’s Cheesy Turkey Meatloaf

Prep time: 15 minutes or thereabouts

Cooking time: 1 hour

Stuff you need:

  • 2 pounds ground turkey
  • 1 cup milk
  • 2 eggs
  • 1-1/2 cups pretzel crumbs
  • 3/4 pound Colby-Jack, or whatever kind of cheese tickles your pickle, chopped into cubes

What to do:

  1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees.
  2. Dump first 4 ingredients into large bowl. Super easy, right? At this point you can either mix with some sort of super strong spoon, or you can do what my momma always taught me- Just dig into that meat with your bare hands, like the cavemen did when they made meatloaf. That happened, right? Grunting noises optional. But way fun.
  3. Once mixed, fold in cubes of cheese until distributed evenly throughout.
  4. Throw it all into a loaf pan, and pop into the oven for 60 minutes.
  5. Remove from oven and let rest for 5 minutes, just so all the delicious fatty juices soak back up. Fat is yummy.
  6. Slice n’ serve!

Shit, I’m writing this at 8:00am, and now I want meatloaf for breakfast. This could be a bad situation.

Where’s The Beef?

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Mmmmm… Butter.

Well, Mr. Ahi Tuna Man decided to jet set off to Key West for the weekend (The nerve of him!), so I was left to my own devices for Sunday night dinner. What to do… What to do? Well, luckily I had a little horseradish sauce and some cute little Yukon Gold potatoes left over from a quick mid-week salmon meal (Side note: I hate salmon normally, but this crap was delicious. I should’ve taken pictures and written down how I made it, but I was sick with a very bad cold, and I was also very hungry and had little patience for these things in my sinus pressurey state. Someone may have gotten hurt. Next time. I promise.), so I did what any red-blooded American woman would do in this situation: I bought myself a giant hunk of red meat.

*insert manly grunts that are still sorta somehow feminine-like here, like if Wilma Flintstone grunted over a Brontosaurus Burger*

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DON’T LOOK AT ME, PERVERT! I’M SKINNY DIPPING!!

I’ve never been a big fan of the beef roast, because I used to have a tendency to dry it out and be required to then dump a giant puddle of Worcestershire sauce on it, but NO MORE! I discovered the secret to great beef roast. Wanna know it? Come closer. A little closer. *forehead flick* HAHAHAHAHAHA! Gotcha! Anyhoo… I discovered the answer is to keep it simple, stupid. No, you’re not stupid. It was an expression. You’re just a little slow. And that’s ok. So like I was saying, a little butter, a little soy, bada-boom bada-bing (Or some other less Italian expression, because this is beef, not pasta, silly.), and here you have it!

Here’s My Beef!

Prep time: Stupidly fast.

Cooking time: 50 minutes or so, depending how bloody you want your hunk o’ red meat.

 Stuff you need:

  • 2 – 3 lb beef tenderloin roast
  • ½ cup melted butter
  • ¾ cup soy sauce

 What you do:

  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
  2. Combine butter n’ soy in small bowl
  3. Throw beef roast in a shallow glass baking pan.
  4. Dump butter mixture directly on top of roast. Make noises like your beef roast is having a lovely day at the pool.
  5. Stick it in the preheated oven for 10 minutes or thereabouts, then flip that puppy over so the other side gets some buttery soy sauce lovin’.
  6. Continue baking for 35 minutes or so, or to desired doneness, basting occasionally with all the fattening and delicious butter, because butter is our friend. Write that down.
  7. Let your meat rest (Because it’s exhausting swimming in soy.) for 10 minutes or so.
  8. Slice that sucker up and enjoy that meat in your mouth.

 BUT WAIT! There’s more!

 As an added bonus, here’s the recipe for my horseradish sauce, because it’s really pretty yummy with this:

  • ¾ cup sour cream
  • ¼ cup prepared horseradish
  • 1 teaspoon minced fresh dill
  • A little lemon zest (I didn’t measure it, really, I just zested that sucker until it looked about right. Don’t make it too lemony, because gross. Don’t screw it up! No pressure.)

 Combine all the stuff in a bowl, and that is all!

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Saucing up your meat is completely optional. But I highly recommend it.

Thank you.