I’m Here! I’m Here! Wait! Don’t Leave!

Happy Wednesday, five people who read my blog! Hey… Looks like I have a couple new blog followers… There may even be SIX of you by now! Holy cats!

Anyway, I bet a lot of you are wondering where I’ve been. I know, it’s probably keeping you up at night. I get that a lot. Well you see, I met this handsome gentleman on Hollywood Boulevard last week, and he paid me $3,000 to spend the week with… Hang on… Is this the plot to Pretty Woman? Oh man, I get us confused all the time. However, I did sing a Prince song in the bathtub last night, so Vivian the hooker and I are practically the same person. Except I’m prettier. And I probably cook way better. And that whole getting paid for sex thing. Whatever. In all reality, I just haven’t been doing much cooking lately because I’ve been dieting, and surviving on couscous and smoothies, and those are just no fun to blog about. I’m also so weak that I can barely lift my poor little shriveled and starving hands to type this. I can button my jeans now, though, so there’s that.

(Insert cry for help here.)

I promise I’ll be back soon with lots of delicious and super healthy (Well… sorta. Maybe. Not likely, actually.) recipes, as well as stories about Mr. Ahi Tuna Man and all the help he gives me in the kitchen by watching me open things, forgetting to buy lemons, and occasionally shredding cheese for me so I don’t shred my knuckles into the mozzarella again. I’m pretty sure that’s a selfish move on his part. But PFFFFFFFFFFFT (infinite Fs)- You could hardly taste the blood in that last pizza. Such a whiner he is.

I just wanted to pop in and say I’m ok and to put all of your minds at ease. You’re welcome.

And here is a picture of my dog eating my high heel, which probably has more flavor than my lunch today.

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The Birth Of A Food Blog Baby

I know what you’re thinking.

Just what the world needs, another food blog. *Sigh* I know, I know. I know how you feel. I did not want to be one of the hordes of chef wannabes trying to become the next… ummmm… famous food blog person. Yeah. Anyhoo… This all started with a boy and some Ahi tuna. You see, I’ve always been interested in cooking; I’ve even performed an emergency braising a time or two. Ok, not really. Sounded good, though. My point is that I met a boy. A fellow food and cooking enthusiast. That’s where it all started. He had me at, “Sear me some tuna, lady.”. The rest, as they say, is history. We’ve been cooking and eating together ever since. It’s been a magical two to four weeks. Maybe ‘magical’ is the wrong word. Whatever. You get my drift.

So, here I am. You guys (And by ‘guys’, I mean ‘nobody’, since this sucker is brand spanking new.) will be witness to my kitchen triumphs and disasters, and, if Mr. Ahi Tuna man dumps me, or vice versa, you will be witness to my overindulgence in homemade desserts. I’d say it’s a win-win for us all.

For my first recipe, though, I think I’ll keep it simple. Baby steps. Ha! Get it? Birth of a food blog? Baby steps? Never mind. Here you go:

Ingredients:
Cheap wine with twisty cap

Tools needed:
Any liquid-holding vessel

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Untwist twisty cap. Pour in glass. Drink. Repeat.

And that, folks, is how you give birth to a food blog baby. While tipsy.

Stay tuned. I’ll be less tipsy for the rest of my posts. Probably. For the most part. Maybe.